Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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