My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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