I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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