I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
