They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
