Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
