On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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