she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
