Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
