So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Randomize
