No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
