My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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