Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
