Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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