I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
