the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
