we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
