Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
