I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize