Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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