Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
