I want to have your abortion
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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