She's JV to your varsity
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
