Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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