don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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