So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
