I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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