Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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