Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
