I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
