i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
