Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
