well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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