My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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