Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
