I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
