You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We're too hungover to prance.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
