Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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