Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
