where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think i peed on brittanys purse
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
