im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
