He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
