Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
