She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
