I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
