Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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