I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
