So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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