i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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