so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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