thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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