I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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