would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My feet surprised me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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