Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
