so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
