She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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