Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
