well I can't set my house on fire every night
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
