organizing the empties. That sober.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
