i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
