she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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