Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
