wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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